Our Struggles
by proudtobeatheatrekid
Summary: Remus and Lily are twins, and they've been best friends their whole life, but what will happen when they go to Hogwarts and Remus wants to protect his sister from his condition? Will she allow herself to be protected? T because I feel like it.
1. In Which It All Falls Apart

_A/N: This story was inspired by, but not based off of, skjaere's "A conspiracy of cartographers: year one" Go read it- it's awesome! :D Alright, SO I wrote this a little while ago- It is a one shot for now. I have more- but I want to see if you guys like the idea. Okay? Thanks!_

_Disclaimer: Unfortuantely, I do not own Harry Potter, or his world, or his parents... I just get to imagine my own version of things... oh well. We can't all be JKR.

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Chapter 1: In which it all falls apart

Lily and Remus lived in a town where wizard, witches, and muggles all mixed and knew about each other. Their Father was a wizard, and their mother was a muggle. The town was a half blood town. Lily and Remus also had an older sister, Petunia, who was very excited to get her hogwarts letter when she turned 11 next year. Lily and Remus were 7. they had just started 2nd grade and were having fun.

One November afternoon, as Lily and Remus were playing outside as they so often did, their Dad, John, came home from work.

"Hi Daddy!" exclaimed Lily

"Hello Lily! How was your day?" asked John

"Oh, it was fine. how was yours?"

"Well, my department decided to go ahead with the werewolf bill the head of department has been against. So he quit." John worked at the ministry of magic.

"Oh, daddy. That doesn't sound like a fun day."

"It wasn't. but do you know something? It's still daytime and I'm home now with my wonderful kids!" and with that, he promptly started tickling Lily

"Ahhhhh! Daddyyyy!" Lily screamed

"Da-ad! Stop tickling her!" Remus commanded. But it didn't help. He got tickled as well. "Dad!" he laughed.

"Enough." commanded Kathy, their mother, emerging from the kitchen.

"Why hello there, Kathy. How was your day?"

"Petunia still can't wait to get her letter. She checks the mail every day."

"But she doesn't turn eleven for another 3 months!" commented John

"Try telling her that. She can't wait. How was your day?" complained Kathy.

"Well, my head of department finally quit. We've been pushing the werewolf bill too much."

"Oh, John... That's terrible."

"Mother, could we have dinner now that father is home?" inquired another voice emerging from the kitchen.

"If your father is hungry, then I will start dinner." responded her mother.

"Do I even get a 'Hello'?" sulked her father

"Hello, father."

"Tunie! Give Daddy a hug!" repremanded Lily

"I'm too old for hugs, Lils." defended her sister.

"You're only ten!"

"So? That's three years older than you are."

* * *

Two weeks later, John came home ecstatic and exclaimed to his wife "Kathy! I got a promotion! I'm head of department!" and the whole family knew what that meant.

"Oh, John! That's wonderful!"

"Yes, dear. And I believe that we should go on a camping trip over Christmas holidays to celebrate!" he suggested.

"YAYYYYY!!!!!" exclaimed both Lily and Remus at the same time.

"But father, it will be COLD!" complained Petunia

"But Tunie, we'll be CAMPING!" Lily responded.

* * *

They did go camping. And they were having fun. Lily and Remus had gone off to gather firewood. The sun had just set, so they knew to be back as soon as they could. Petunia and her mother were both wrapped in blankets sitting around the fire John had just made, and was attempting to make bigger. The muggle way, since this was a muggle campsite.

Suddenly, they heard a high pitched scream coming from the nearby woods. John, Kathy, and Petunia all ran towards it, fearing that Lily had gotten hurt, because it definitely sounded like her scream. However, when they arrived, Lily was staring after a large shadow which was retreating into the forest, and Remus was on the ground bleeding from the neck.

"Lily, what happened?" her father asked her.

"It...It... but Remus. Is he okay?" she asked, obviously trying not to cry.

"I don't know. What bit him?"

"It looked sort of like a deformed wolf, but I'm not sure, i didn't get a good look at it,

Remus was in front of me and he... oh, daddy, will he be okay?"

"oh god. I need to get him to . NOW."

"John- what?" Kathy questioned her husband.

"Kathy, I think it might've been a werewolf, but i don't know. I need to get him to st. mungos. Lily too."

"Why me, Daddy?"

"Because you saw it happen. Come here, hold my hand tightly and help me carry Remus."

"Okay daddy," obeyed a frightened little girl on the verge of tears.

John grabbed his son in his arms and gripped his daughter's hand tightly, then apparated to st. mungos.

* * *

They arrived in the waiting room, and the witch at the desk immediately called a healer

upon seeing the blood on Remus' neck. The healer rushed out and as he brought them to a

room, asked what had happened.

Since only Lily had been there, she told. "Remus and I saw the thing coming towards us, and he dived in front of me and said 'd-don't hurt Lily!' and then it bit him."

"What did it look like?" asked the concerned healer.

"Kind of like a deformed wolf, but Remus was in front of me, so i couldn't really see."

The healer's face went white. John noticed this, and his face went white too.

"Do you think-" John began asking, but was interrupted.

"We won't be able to know for sure until the next full moon." the healer sharply responded

* * *

It had been almost a month, and Remus was still in the hospital. Lily had had to return to school, and was being asked a lot of where Remus was. Since her parents had warned her against telling anyone just yet, she just told them that he was sick and in the hospital.

Then one night, just before sunset, her parents took her and Petunia to the hospital to see Remus. She was excited to see him, but he was asleep when she got there.

"It's so early! Why is Remus asleep?" asked a curious Lily

"Because we might find out exactly what bit him tonight, but we're not sure." responded a nearby healer, surprised at the question. He thought she knew.

"I just hope the guess is wrong," Kathy expressed her concern, "even though all the signs seem to point to it."

All six healers that were in the room, along with John, nodded in agreement to this concern. The two girls (Petunia and Lily) were more confused than ever. What was so special about tonight?

Soon, the six healers were transferring Remus onto a stretcher, and moving him to a new room. The family followed. They arrived in a dark room with a few windows, and a locked cage in the middle of the room. The cage was large, and made of silver. One healer went to a lock on the cage and opened a huge door, and the other five carried the stretcher into the cage and set it down. Then they all ran out of the cage and quickly locked the door. The sun had begun to set.

Kathy and John were clinging to each other, worried about something, while the two little girls were confused as to why everyone was panicking and their brother was in a cage. A beam of moonlight entered the room and landed on the cage. Remus immediately woke up and began to scream.

"REMUS!" screamed Lily, afraid that her twin had awoken from a nightmare, "Remus, are you okay?" she called. But Remus didn't hear her and continued to scream. It was becoming evident that these were screams of pain, and Kathy was crying into John's chest, while John's eyes were threatening tears. "REMUS!" Lily called again, "Somebody help him! Why isn't anybody helping him?" she screamed to the room in general, tears in her eyes too, afraid of the pain her brother was going through.

Everyone in the room was staring at the form of the little boy in the cage transforming into a larger creature. Some of the healer's looked scared. Petunia was just confused, and wondering why her mother was crying, while Lily was scared, confused, crying, and wondering why nobody was telling her what was going on. He was her brother, for melrin's sake!

Remus' body stopped changing and he howled at the full moon through the window, then tried to get out of the cage, but howled again when he touched the silver. Kathy fell against a wall and sat down on the floor, her head in her hands. Petunia walked over to her to try and comfort her, and two healers and John took Lily into another room, hopefully to explain, she thought.

Petunia asked her mother what Remus was, and her mother responded with one word, "Werewolf." Petunia didn't ask anymore questions, knowing that whatever a werewolf was, she would learn more about it soon.

* * *

In the other room, John was sitting with Lily talking to her, with the healers by the door.

"Lily, do you know what a werewolf is?"

"No, daddy. What's a werewolf?"

"A Werewolf is a creature that is human most of the time, but on the full moon transforms into a wolf-like creature. And if a werewolf bites a human, then the human becomes a werewolf."

"So the deformed wolf that bit Remus was a werewolf?"

"It must have been."

"Will he have to live in the hospital forever?"

"No. He will have more acute senses now, and we will need a secure place for him to transform on full moons, but he can come home."

"Daddy... what does 'acute' mean?"

"Sharper."

At that point, the healers decided that John had said enough, and began explaining the extensive list of side effects of being a werewolf to both Lily and John, neither of whom knew that much about them. "The formal name of Remus' condition is 'lycanthropy', and there are many books on it." they handed Lily three books, "These books explain most of the information you'll need." then they handed John another book, "and this explains the ministry's guidelines for a safe place to transform. You may take Remus home in the morning." and with that, they left.

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_A/N: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE Review. And check out my other ideas! (I have one story that is on hold- sorry. Musical- and another Idea like this one!) PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWww ;D yeah? Okay, cool. Just press that review button! _


	2. John's Idea

_A/N: So I was stuck dog sitting a dog that needed company, so I just brought the laptop and wrote some. Anyways, I did write a chapter but unfortunately you shouldn't expect more updates, since this week is opening of the musical I'm teching for (AHHHH) then it runs until June 6. So possibly the 9__th__? I dunno. I might be stuck in a bottomless pit of homework. We'll see._

_Disclaimer: I do not, in fact, own Harry Potter. I'm not that good of an actress. I wish I was. That'd be so cool :)

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Chapter 2: John's idea

The years went by, and Remus and Lily became closer than ever. They worked together to find all of the information on Lycanthropy they could. Remus changing in the house scared Petunia away from magic, and when she didn't get her hogwarts letter that summer, she was relieved instead of disappointed.

Every full moon, Lily would sit up in bed and wait for Remus to transform back, then she would run to his room and lie with him in bed until he woke up. John had noticed this, and finally decided to do something about it.

"Lily," he asked one night, with a particularly bright moon above (full, of course, or they would be asleep), "Aren't you cold?"

"A little," Lily responded, "But I'm too worried about Remus to go to bed."

"Lily, you have to sleep."

"I will. But I can't sleep knowing what he's going through, Dad. I wish I could help him."

John Sighed. "Lily, how far would you go to help your brother?"

"I would do anything. It could've been me in there if he hadn't jumped in front of me!"

"I have an idea." John saw Lily's face brighten at this, "But it's dangerous."

"What is it, Dad?" and John promptly turned into a bear. "You're an animagus? Why didn't I know?"

"Your mother doesn't even know, Lily, and you can't tell her. You also can't tell her that I'm going to help you become one too, okay?"

"But, Daddy, how will that help?"

"Werewolfs only attack humans. Not animals."

Lily ran up and gave her dad a hug. "When can we start?" she asked.

"As soon as we can. I have to send an owl to someone first, then we can begin. Not tonight, though. Go to sleep as soon as you can, alright hun?"

"Okay, Dad." Lily agreed, excited. She sat back down to await sunrise, when she could see Remus again.

* * *

In the weeks following, she was preoccupied with thinking about being able to be with Remus on full moons. She had told Remus, but her closest friend besides her brother was beginning to get curious. Of course he knew that Remus was a werewolf, but he didn't know that Lily stayed up all night for him, and he wasn't really sure how close they were.

His curiousity finally overcame him one day, and he asked her, "Lily, why are you so preoccupied? You've been distracted in class for the last two weeks. What's up?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Sev." She replied. But he was not satisfied.

"Lil, you wanna hang out after school? We can go to the playground and talk."

"But Sev-"

"Lil, please. We haven't hung out in forever."

"Oh, fine. But just for a little while. I have to get home."

"Thanks."

* * *

At the park after school, Severus still hadn't gotten anything out of Lily, and he was beginning to get frustrated. He thought that she didn't keep any secrets from him. What could be bigger than your twin being a werewolf?

Finally, Severus gave up, and walked the two blocks from the park to his house, while Lily walked the opposite direction to her house. He looked back at her, only to see her disappearing around a corner three blocks away. Sighing, he walked the rest of the block home.

* * *

Today was the day that John would give Lily the potion to help her with her animagus form. She had been so excited all day, and couldn't wait to get home. Severus had delayed her, but she figured that she might as well not raise his suspicions by being anxious about getting home. She skipped home from the park to see her father waiting in front of the house with a goblet.

"Come on, Lily. We're going into my study so that Kathy doesn't catch us." he informed her, motioning for her to follow him.

Lily had never been in his study before, it was his own private place that no one else was allowed into. It was amazing. She saw all sorts of articles about dangerous creatures that must have had to do with his job at the ministry.

"Alright, Lily. Now. Close the door behind you." Lily closed the door. Then John walked over to it, tapped it with his wand, and said "Colloportus". An odd squelching noise followed.

"What did that do, daddy?" Lily asked, amazed that her father had done magic inside the house.

"It locked the door so that your mother and sister can't get in."

"Oh. okay."

"Now, Lily, this is a potion," he informed her, gesturing to the goblet, "which will help me be able to help you with your transformation, okay?"

"Alright daddy." Lily responded, and drank the potion, which tasted surprisingly good despite its gross appearance.

"Now, lay on the bed while I cast a few spells. You should fall asleep." Lily lay down on the bed and fell asleep as soon as her back hit the covers.

When Lily woke up, John was reading a newspaper on his desk. "What happened, Daddy?" she asked.

Placing the newspaper back on the desk, he handed her a book. "I want you to read this, I know it's tough, but it will help you understand a couple of things that I found out. I want to see how much you can guess by reading that book, alright?"

"Sounds good." Lily said, taking the book, which was titled Rare Animagus Abilities and Why They Appear. She skipped off to her room to begin reading.

* * *

The book was very informing. It talked about how most people's animagus forms had to do with their personality, and that if there was someone that you were very close to, your animagus forms might be similar. It also mentioned many things that made no sense at all to Lily. The only other thing that made sense to her was the concept of a multiple animagus. Apparently, on extremely rare occasions, powerful witches or wizards would somehow attain multiple animagus forms. The book went on to explain what can happen if you attempt to recieve multiple forms but should not have them. Some pretty gruesome things could happen. The chapter said that not much was known about multiple animagi, but there were a couple books out there that you could find if you were desperate to know more.

Eventually, Lily fell asleep and dreamt of being able to accompany Remus on full moons. Her dream didn't really tell her what animal she would be, but she felt so safe. Safer than she did sitting outside waiting for him.

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_A/N: Alrighty. So. PLEASE review. I really want to know what you guys think. Even if you're mad at me. Tell me why (please?) So press that pretty button PLEASE! _


	3. Help from Dad

_A/N: aaaahhhhhh I'm soooo sooorrrryyyy! It has been a super long time! But I was in a show that took up a ton of time, but now it's over and I'm back! I did have a bit of writers block too. SO. Here. Soooo sooryyy this is latteee. If you must come after me, won't you come after me in a review? Yeahhhh? I take critisismmmm __J_

_Disclaimer: ohhhh yeah right. Like lowly old me owns Harry Potter. That's TOTALLY plausible. Mmmhmmmm.

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Chapter 3: Help from Dad

It was the night before a full moon, and Lily was getting as much sleep as she could. But John called Remus and Lily into his study to tell them something. Lily had a couple of guesses what it was.

"Remus, Lily and I are forming a plan. You may not know this, but Lily waits up for you all night on full moons." John informed him.

"Lily! You need to sleep!" Remus scolded her.

"But Rem, I'm worried about you!"

"The fact has been established as a fact. It is not debatable. But I will tell you my plan. The plan is for Lily to become an animagus so that she can accompany you."

"Dad, that's genius! But... Lily's too young. She can't become an animagus."

"Well, I think that she can. I have talked to the Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts, and she is going to come help us tomorrow night after we 'go to bed', alright?"

"I get to meet a Hogwarts professor? Wow!" Lily exclaimed.

"Dad, why are you telling me this now?"

"Becuase I think that the thought will help you through the transformation. The thought that you won't be alone soon. Plus, I might join you for a while in my animagus form."

"You're an animagus?" Remus gaped.

"Well, yes. But you will have to wait until tomorrow to see."

And with that, they all departed from the room.

* * *

The next night, Remus was outside waiting to transform, Petunia and Kathy were sleeping, and Lily and John were in John's study with a very strict-looking woman. She was giving John a talking-to because he wanted his young daughter to attempt one of the most difficult magics she knew.

"Ah, but professor, I'll be here the whole time, and I hope that you will come often too!"

"I should say so. I have been assigned to check in on her every so often so that something doesn't go wrong. If you have any questions, please owl me. You know where I'll be. Now, go accompany your son and I will talk Lily through what she will be doing."

"Thank you so much, Professor, I-"

"Go, John. The moon is rising." And with that, John left to be with Remus.

"Now, Lily. How much do you understand about this process?"

"Quite a bit, professor. I read all of the books my father gave me. But they all mentioned how the transformation can go terribly wrong, however none of them explained. Do you know?"

"Indeed I do. However, I shall not explain it to you since it is quite gruesome. You will find out eventually."

"Yes, Professor."

"Now, Lily, your father told me the form you should take. Do you know what it is?"

"No, professor, he told me that I would find out."

"Well, now is the time to find out. Here, drink this, it will implant an image of your animagus self into your brain." Lily drunk the potion. "Now, call the image to the front of your mind."

"Okay." Lily responded, concentrating, "Now what?"

"Now, I am going to transfigure you into this animal for the night, so that you can imagine yourself in your animagus form. Is that alright?"

"May I stay with Remus?"

"Unfortunately, not yet, since you will not have fully transformed. He could still harm you. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Professor."

And Lily got to spend the rest of the night in what would be her Animagus form.

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_A/N: It was super tempting to end the chapter here, but I would feel bad. So, On we go! (If you're glad that I didn't end it here, have the word "psychotic" somewhere in your review (because you will review, right?) thanks!)

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Every saturday night, Lily worked on her animagus transformation with John. Every full moon, Professor McGonnagall came to help out and make sure that everything was alright.

One full moon night after 4 months of trying, Lily finally managed to transfigure one of her hands into a paw. She and the professor were very happy, but had to be quiet so as to not wake up the ones ignorant of the professor's presence.

When Lily recounted this tale to Remus, He was ecstatic. "Lily, This means that you're this much closer to accompanying me!"

"I know! I'm so excited! But we have to be calm around Tunie, 'cause she's bound to notice and if she does, she'll mention it to Mom."

"And we want to keep Mom oblivious."

"Right." And, squealing once more, they went down to breakfast.

Lily continued to make steady progress under the instruction of John and Professor McGonnagall. She had transformed the other hand in a week, and after a month could transform both feet as well. Professor Mcgonnagall had assured her that the initial transformation makes everything else easier.

The further she progressed in her lesson, the more excited Lily got, and, in turn, Remus as well. However, one person continued to be extremely confused by this seemingly uncalled for excitement. Severus Snape.

* * *

Severus continued to try to get his best friend to tell him what was going on, but she kept refusing. The two were drifting apart. Severus hoped that they would continue to be friends, for Lily was his only friend. No one else payed any attention to him. At least Lily was still nice to him, even if she wasn't going to be his friend.

One day, Severus finally decided to confront Lily about how they were drifting apart. "Lily!" he called out to her one day as she was starting to walk home with Remus, "Can I talk to you for a sec?" She and Remus exchanged a look, but she eventually walked back to him and looked at him expectantly. "Have you noticed us drifting apart?" she asked frankly.

"Oh," she responded, "well, I suppose we have been, but, Sev, you know a lot of things have been happening for me lately."

"Like what, Lily? It's been a year since Remus was bitten, surely you're not still obsessing over that?" He yelled, immediately regretting it.

"How dare you? It's a life long condition so I will always worry about him! He's my brother! I think I have reason to be worried about him!" she retorted.

"Lily, I'm sorry-" he started, but she had already turned around and was running back to Remus. He had failed her.

* * *

Lily was distracted all through the rest of that week. When John asked her what was wrong, she responded, "Do you think I obsess about Remus too much?"

"Lily, he's your brother. You have a right to be worried, hon." John comforted.

"Are you sure?"

"Lily, what triggered this doubt?" he questioned, concerned.

"It's just, well, Sev's mad at me because I've been distancing myself from him a bit. It's only because of the Animagus thing, but, well, I can't tell him about that, and he's mad at me!"

"Lily, shhhhh. It's okay. All friendships go through rocky spots. He'll get over it."

"You sure, dad?"

"Positive. Severus is a good friend to you. And you to him."

"Thanks, daddy." And then they continued with the lesson.

Lily was doing ten times better now, but she was avoiding Severus, knowing that he would hang on her and beg her forgiveness, and although she was ready to forgive him, she knew that he would just get mad at her again. So she decided to wait until she had completed the transformation.

* * *

_A/N: yeahhhh... wow. I wrote this in like, 5 different sessions, so it might seem a little weird. I've decided that it's time to post this now. There were a bunch of places I really wanted to end it, but I wanted to give you a reasonable sized chapter. This isn't too short, is it? Review please! _

_PREEEETTTTTTYYYY BUUUTTTTOOONNNNN! you know you want to press it!_


	4. I'm suuupppperrr sorryyy help me?

_September 5, 2010_

_A/N: okay._

_Sooo I haven't written this in a super long time and I'm reeeeally sorry…_

_Sooooooooo yeah._

_Ummm I kinda feel like this story is moving really slowly (and It's only chapter 3!) but I wanna know what you guys think- cause I KNOW you're reading this._

_Please?_

_And I'm SUUUPPPEERRRR sorry __L_

_I've had an eventful August (including a new boyfriend yayyyyyyyyy)_

_However, from what I know of my schedule so far, I'm gonna have a fairly easy senior year as senior years go, so I can write! Yayyy!_

_Okay. So yeah._

_This isn't actually a chapter… and I'm super sorry._

_Also, anyone maybe wanna beta? :D_

_I don't wanna go look through that list… it's waaaaayyy too extensive. And I feel like having a beta cause I feel like it, ok? :D_

_Yeah so thankkssss_

_And tell me what you think! PLEASE!_

_Seriously, tell me what you've liked and such._

_I will be watching the traffic count, so I will know if you don't review._

_Thanks and I'm suuuuper sorry,_

_proudtobeatheatrekid_


	5. OMG actual chapter! short though

_9/5/10 A/N: ahhhhhhh soo sorry :( I've been busy with a show and summer school and vacation and then I had a ton of plans the week I got back and now school starts in 2 days. NOOOOOOooo _

_sooo fanfic time :D_

_oh, and I also got a new ipod so I've been reading a lot of fanfics and reviewing on that but I can't write on it and I'm too lazy to bring the laptop back upstairs (which I just did, so be happy!) and i'm too lazy to delete the last chapter... sooo you should feel free to still help me :)_

_9/15/10 A/N: sooo school started... aaand i really do have a super duper awesome schedule. I only have 3 legitamate classes. I do homework during two, and the third is a theatre class (yayyy! well, technically, two are theatre classes, but we never do anything in one of them... until a production, that is.) _

_okay. onnn with the chapter._

_Disclaimer: oh, really? Just because I've been busy doesn't mean I've been busy with book signings and readings and such as I would be if I owned HP... WHICH I DON'T!

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Chapter 4: I'm skipping a ton of time cause I feel like it :D

It was our 11th birthday, and I had finally completed my animagus transformation a month before. We were having a lot of fun with kathy, John, and Tuney, but Remus was being moody since that night was the full moon. However, he had been doing much better since I had been able to begin accompanying him on them in my animagus form.

We were having a bit of a birthday party, impaired due to the fact that we couldn't invite anyone due to the full moon that night. A full moon would have been depressing enough without it being our birthday. John was trying his best to cheer Remus and I up, as I had taken to mimicing his moodiness around full moons, but he wasn't doing very well. Tuney was just begging to leave and go to a friend's house, claiming that this "wasn't a party at all, more of a forced family fun day that no one was enjoying." those were her exact words. Kathy? She was just sitting in a lawn chair knitting.

I sighed, "well, we should be getting hogwarts letters soon," trying to enhance the mood.

"I doubt it." disagreed Tuney, as always.

"You will, Lily. Not me. But you should go. I'll be fine here."

"Rem, you will get a letter! i know you will! They can't possibly discriminate against you that much for your condition!"

"Well-" began John.

"Not if they're humans!" I interrupted. But Remus just hung his head in shame. So I gave up the fight, figuring my point would be proven soon enough.

Then, that night, John, Remus, and I went into the Garage and John transformed into his bear animagus. I transformed into my animagus form also, as soon as we noticed the moon rising. Remus was screaming in pain, so I went over and put a paw on his chest, but soon I had to remove it, since his whole body was changing into a deformed, furless wolf. His teeth were long and sharp, and he had claws that looked very, very painful. This would all have scared me more if I hadn't already seen him this way and known that my teeth were very similar to his right now, but it still pained me. I knew that this was the time I had to be there for him the most, but John kept telling me that it was even scarier to see me try to comfort Remus in my animagus form than to protect him. But tonight was different. Professor McGonnagall, Dad, and I had worked together to find out something unusual about my animagus form.

But for now, all Remus saw was a big brown bear trying to hold him down, and a pair of pained emerald eyes belonging to a large, red-brown wolf.

* * *

_A/N: i liiike the enddddd :) do you liiike Lily's animagus form? understand it? REVIEW and tell me why she's a wolf and you may just get some cookies or blueberry muffins. youuu choose. I have both on hand. :D_

_aaand sorry it's short... but i reeeeeally wanted to end it there... yeah. REVIEW!_


	6. New twist

_A/N: heyyyyyy sorry..._

_I DO have an easy schedule... but I have had some drama stuff (as in teenage drama AND theatre drama. yeah. both.) I am now in a show in which I have to sing... off key... so I'm practising that night and day... more than I need to :) (hey- singing is fun! Even if I'm terrible at it). Oh, and I've been neglecting you guys :( I have ideas, I've just been too lazy to form them into things others will understand._

_okay. _

_awesome KC2622- yes you got cookies! :) _

_Basically, she misses being like her brother and still feels bad about the whole he was protecting her thing and she wants to be like him again. They're TWINS for goodness' sake!_

_Thanks for the reviews I got. If you didn't review (yeah, I know you didn't.) then review this chapter! Thanks, proudtobeatheatrekid._

_Disclaimer: hahahahahahahahaha yeah right. I DO NOT own hp. _

_And by the way you should all go watch a very potter musical. RIGHT. NOW. oh wait... after you read AND REVIEW this chapter. ...I just got the soundtrack :D

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Four people were standing in John's study. Three of them were looking into the eyes of the fourth. They were all mesmerized by the complexity that was evident in those emerald eyes. There was concern, happiness, pain, a whole slew of feelings.

the oldest in the room, A woman, was thinking how bright this girl was, how much potential. But she was obviously feeling guilt for something that was not her fault. This woman was thinking of how to help her future student meet her full potential.

The middle in age, a man, was staring into the emerald eyes and thinking about his little girl and how she was so attached to her brother. too attached sometimes. He wanted her to let it go, to realize that she needed to move on. However, he knew she wouldn't, so he was doing his best to think of how she could feel better about herself, obviously through helping her brother.

The third person in this room was thinking. His train of thought was more scattered than those of the adults in the room. Last night had been a difficult night, as happens every month. But he loved that girl whose eyes he was staring at, those emerald eyes, she was beautiful, and he knew that she had a full life to live, but she was dwelling on him, putting her life in danger for him, staying back to help him catch up. If you really love someone, you need to let go. Ow. Did he bite his shoulder last night? Oh, sorry. I told you his train of though was scattered.

_(A/N: sorry, comedic mood. Also alternate perspective mood.)_

The final person was thinking two things. One, Is Remus okay? And two, why are they all staring at me?

The silence continued to consume the room for another minute or so until someone finally spoke up. "We need to do something more."

"But, Professor, can Lily do more? She's already gone above and beyond the expectations of a fully grown wizard!"

"Mr. Lupin, I understand that you are worried about your daughter, but she is not going to feel complete unless we do more work."

"But, professor, she's only-"

"John! Stop. Why don't we ask Lily?"

Upon hearing her name, a confused child said, "What are you talking about?"

"See? she doesn't even know!"

"We haven't told her anything! How would she know?" The two adults began again to argue.

"Dad!" interrupted the boy, "please. Lily is curious."

"Stupid twins," muttered John, "always know what the other is thinking."

"That's us." piped up the girl. "now please, dad, tell us."

The two adults looked at each other. They didn't know what to do. Neither of them had ever encountered this before, or even heard an example of it.

"Lily," began Professor McGonnagall, "Since you have completed your transformation, the next step is getting registered. I was performing a few of the checks that the ministry performs before beginning any evaluation, and I noticed that your animagus form is not fully developed. No, it does not mean you need more work. I have never before encountered this before, at this stage, the form should be fully matured. But yours isn't. I had many discussions with your father, and I consulted every animagus book I know of, and I have finally come to a conclusion. The only possible explanation is that you are a double animagus."

Lily froze. A double animagus? But that was so rare! and it was hard enough to complete the transformation once, to do it again? How did this happen to her of all people? So many questions swimming around in her head. But she voiced only one, "Are you sure?"

"I believe I am, ms. Lupin. It seems to be the only option."

"But how?"

"I'm not sure. But I suggest that once you are ready, you only register your wolf form. I'm afraid that if you register yourself as a double animagus, there will be an unnecessarily long and scrutinizing process, plus the ministry will use you for many examples. To avoid all of this, as much as I support registering yourself as an animagus, you should at least wait until you begin hogwarts."

"Of course, professor. But how do we figure out the other animagus form?"

"Well, we have to figure that out. I'm not sure. We'll simply have to try." ended the professor.

* * *

After this discussion, Remus decided to have his own discussion with Lily.

"Lil! Why are you doing this? It could be dangerous!"

"Rem, I have to."

"No you don't, lil."

"But I want to! I want to be able to protect you as much as you protected me!"

"you don't realize how much of a risk that is!"

"I've gone this far, Rem, I have to go all the way."

"But Lil-"

"Please. Stop trying to protect me from protecting you. You know I feel guilty about you being-"

"Lil, that was not your fault. You know that!"

"Hear me out! You know I feel guilty about you being a werewolf, and knowing that it wasn't my fault doesn't stop that. This, being able to feel stronger, being able to be with you when you need me, It helps me feel better. That month you were in the hospital, I didn't know what to do. I can't lose you, Rem."

"That goes both ways."

"Then let me do this."

Remus nodded, and they walked back to their rooms in silence_. _Was that a fight?

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_A/N: I feel like that was a great way to end it... So I all the sudden have ideas... AHH! I am going on a writing spree. I hope to update more frequently (grinns guiltily) sorry guys! I hope you're still reading! Bear with me? _

_Review!_

_~proudtobeatheatrekid _

_P.S. I have theatre stuff going on! yay! (not take over my life theatre stuff though, don't worry.)_


	7. Tiny Paw short sorry

_A/N: Oh my god. I am so sorry, guys. I totally got caught up in school and stuff and whoa it's december. No way. Whoaaa! See? yeah._  
_I've also recently begun watching doctor who... (if you're wondering, I've seen all the new series and a bit of the first, second, and third doctors... not much though.)_  
_Also, I just saw Harry Potter: The exhibition... It had a bunch of props and costumes and stuff from the movies... OH. MY. GOD. IT WAS AWESOME. umbridge's outfit was soooooo pink! It was just really cool. I recommend going if you have the chance._  
_Disclaimer: Oh, please. I was such a fangirl at the exhibit. If I owned HP, I would've done that a lot sooner. Trust me. Don't own. End of story.

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Chapter 7 : Tiny paw

"Well, I'm not sure what we're supposed to do, but we should do something. Try something. Any ideas, John?" asked professor McGonnagall.  
"I'm not sure." replied John. there were three people sitting in his study. Just sitting there. looking at each other. the Proffessor was looking at Lily, Lily was looking at John, and John was looking at the professor. the Proffessor was studying Lily. Lily was looking to her father for support and knowledge, and John was looking at professor mcGonnagall for help.  
"Professor?" asked a tiny voice. It was Lily's.  
"Yes, Lily?"  
"What if I just tried to transform myself into something other than a wolf?" she wondered.  
"what? but... Lily... that's genius! However, I do not think we should start with all of your body. maybe a paw? That way, if something goes wrong, it will be easier to fix."  
"Of course, professor." she replied, "i'll just try." Then she put on a face of concentration. She needed to do this. This was going to work. she could feel it. She focused on her hand, clearing all other thoughts. she thought of it morphing into something else, and she immediately saw a wolf paw. She blocked that image and attempted to bring another forward. her hand stayed a hand for a long while. Then, without notice, it began to change. Just a bit, but it changed. she had a paw. and it was not her wolf's paw. It was tiny.

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_A/N: so yeah. I don't really have to much going on right now. I'm just trying to give you something. I'll try to write more soon. I don't have theatre stuff right now. Thanks for staying with me, and happy holidays!_


	8. Ginger Pup

_A/N: SORRY! aaaaah I have not been working on this... thanks to *Cre Ookami* for encouraging me to write this chapter. Hope you all had a great christmas (cause it's impossible to treat it as a normal day even if you don't celebrate it...) I went ice skating and FINALLY saw HP7 part 1... and on to the story!_

_Disclaimer: i try to be creative with these because i'm not creative enough to own HP :(_  
_WHY DOES IT SAY I SPELLED "i'm" WRONG?

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Chapter 8: Ginger Pup

Once she and professor McGonnagall had found out how the second animagus form worked, Lily began to change more and more of her body into it, until she was a cute little ginger puppy. Furry and sweet tempered, she was far smaller than professor McGonnagall's cat form. she had been playing around with said cat in her puppy form when a certain werewolf walked into the room and gasped.  
"You're a cat!" he exclaimed.

Professor McGonnagall transformed back into her human self and said "No, Mr. Lupin. I am a cat."

"Oh," he replied, and looked down at the dog sitting at his feet, "hey Lily. You're really cute" he said apprehensively.

So Lily changed back to her human form. "Rem, I'm a puppy. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing! It's just... you're a wolf and a puppy. Do you see a pattern?"

"Remus, really? Just because they're in the same family-"

"No, that's just it! You still feel bad about me getting bitten!" Remus informed Lily angrily.

"Of course I do!" Lily shouted. "I was there! You protected me! I'm thankful, but I feel bad! I have the right to feel bad! I want to help you! That's why I'm doing this! Can't you see that, you stupid emotional werewolf?" and she stormed out of the room, leaving Remus in shock.

"What just happened?" he finally asked the older woman in the room.

"Well, tomorrow night's the full moon, So you're losing your inhibitions. And unfortunately, your sister is getting the short end of the stick. I would go apologize." he was wisely informed.

"But she's mad at me. I'll let her sleep on it and apologize tomorrow." he decided.

"If you believe that's best."

* * *

But he didn't get a chance to apologize the following day as he had to prepare for the full moon. Lily seemed oddly silent, but not in a cold shoulder way. She just wasn't as talkative as normal.

* * *

The morning after, he awoke safe in his bed with a ginger puppy nestled in his arms. He smiled and pet it gently, saying, "Good morning, Lily."

The puppy stirred and changed into his sister. "Morning, Rem. You sore?"

"Actually, no. I feel fine. What did you do?"

"Oh, dad made a pain reliever potion and I've been cuddling with you all morning. Last night wasn't that bad at all. We kept you under control. you did give me a little scratch at the beginning, but Dad was able to heal it up really quick."

"Lils, I'm really sorry."

"I just told you it was fine. It didn't even hurt!"

"No. For blowing up at you."

"Oh. Rem, I'm the one who blew up. We were both overreacting and going through difficulties. It was the night before the full moon. I had already forgiven you by the morning. I just wasn't sure if you had forgiven me."

"Aww, Lil. I always forgive you. I wasn't thinking straight and neither were you." there was a long pause, then Remus declared, "now, change back into a puppy. I'm not done cuddling!"

Lily laughed and obeyed, licking his face once she had transformed.

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_A/N: yeah. That moved really quickly. Sorry. Review? Tell me what you hated! Seriously. Do it. please? _


	9. An Owl and a Brick

_A/N: hi. i have nothing to say. school. ugh. bye. _

_Disclaimer: if I owned HP, then peter probably wouldn't be a gryffindor...

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Chapter 9: An Owl and a Brick

It was finally July, which meant Hogwarts letters! Lily was anxiously looking out the window, watching for an Owl, and Remus was gloomily eating his breakfast.

Suddenly, their mother screamed from the living room, and of course everyone ran in there. Sitting on top of the television was an owl. Just sitting there. When it saw Remus and Lily, it began a flight path towards them, but squacked and freaked out mid-flight, veering away from Remus. He sighed, but Lily stepped forward, away from him, to untie the note attached to his leg. It was adressed to **Mr. Remus Lupin and Ms. Lily Lupin**. upon opening, it read

**Dear, Mr and Ms Lupin, **

**You have both been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A representative will arrive at your house tomorrow at noon to discuss Mr. Lupin's predicament. **

**Congratulations to you both, **

**Professor Minerva McGonnagall**

"Mum, someone's coming over tomorrow." Lily mentioned.

"What for?" questioned her mother.

"To 'Discuss Remus' predicament'" Lily informed.

"You mean you two are actually GOING there?" asked a shocked Petunia.

"Of course we are, Tuney! Why wouldn't we?"

"Because Remus is a raging wolf once a month?"

"So? It's only once a month."

And Petunia stomped out of the room, defeated. She would torture them more when they came back from that horrid place. They would know she was right.

Later that afternoon, Lily ran around the corner to the Snapes' house and knocked on the door. A certain Severus answered the door.

"Well?" she asked excitedly.

He just held up a piece of parchment and got enveloped in a hug.

"Sev! We're going to school together!" she exclaimed.

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That afternoon, John took Remus and Lily to Diagon Alley. They found the Leaky Cauldron immensely fascinating, though Remus tried his best to stay low, and then they got to a brick wall, where their father pulled out his wand.

"Now if I can just remember which one…" he muttered, then tapped a brick and the wall started forming into an archway.

"I love magic." Lily exclaimed, and ran through the archway to get their supplies for school. They each got their very first robes, cloaks, cauldrons, and books, then went to the most exciting store of all. Ollivanders.

They left Diagon Alley with a newfound love of magic and wands in their pockets.

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_A/N: heyyy sorry it's so short... And I totally BSed that last part… the next chapter's gonna be ridiculously long, 'cause two important and connected things happen. SO. I'll try to have that up as soon as possible for y'all. And only about 2 chapters 'till Hogwarts, so lots more action there. Review please?_


	10. Update!

Our Struggles Update!

Hey there!

I know fanfiction doesn't like us posting chapters that aren't really chapters, but I just wanted to tell people who are reading this story some good news.  
I have a ton more of this story written! I wrote it for National Novel Writing Month last November (2012). I'm now just trying to get my scenes in order and connect them. It will probably be a long time still, but I will be updating this story eventually. I will also be revising the first 9 chapters I've already posted, since I'll be revising the rest.

I just wanted to tell you guys that. Sorry for not updating in over a year!

Proudtobeatheatrekid


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